Tuesday, July 17, 2012

An Apology to My Future Daughter In Law

  I am sorry that he doesn't clean the house as a matter of routine, but when you are sick, it will be cleaned as well as if you did it yourself, so maybe you will forgive me. I am sorry if he does not say all the gushy, lovey dovey things your heart desires, he is reserved with his emotions and does not like to cry in movies. But he is a stalwart wall to lean on during excruciatingly painful times and his compassion and comfort comes from the Lord and he shares it with you so that you will not falter or faint. I am sorry if he is not the trendy, hipster man that is so popular in today's culture who is satisfied with a working wife while he finds himself. He found himself at 18 and has never looked back at his past with wistfulness, but forward with determination to take care of a family, have a helpmate, and to provide, not to be provided for. He can change a diaper while playing swords with a toddler and his shoulders are strong enough to carry the children of your heart, however many that may be, he is not stingy or fearful of a large family. 
    He may not match his children's clothes perfectly but he can make a mean ponytail and sometimes braid hair all while changing an infant's diaper at the same time. He can single handedly get girls ready for church, including teeth, hair and accessories while remembering to get their bibles. But he may not be as sweet as you would be while doing it. Sometimes he just picks them up and puts them in the car without waiting to see if they are done. Being on time is a little more important to him than the perfect outfit. I am sorry. But maybe you will forgive me when you hear him in the pulpit preaching God's word, if that is where God puts him.  
    So I hope that although he is not perfect, you will forgive us and his love for you and ya'lls children will make up for when he sleeps late and doesn't mow the grass as soon as that neurotic neighbor does. Hopefully, ya'lls land will have a tree line surrounding it. You will be able to depend on him to fix what needs fixing in the house, he is not a man who will always call a plumber and he will leave a mess when he is done. I am sorry, maybe you will forgive me for not making him clean up after himself as well as I should have. But you will not go without a running toilet or shower, and he will always have a generator when the power is out or a supply of candles and books to read by candle light to the kids. Your life will be fun, and full of adventure but yes he gets grumpy sometimes and I am sorry. We usually ignore him for about an hour then make him play with us. You will have a better way because he will always want to please you.       
    You may never have a mansion but you will never hear him ask you to work to make up for any financial difficulties and he will never   abandon you, as family is instilled in him to the exclusion of finding his own "happy place". You will be his happy place and he will tell you how to run his home while depending heavily on your advice and counsel. He has been taught to love you since he was old enough to know he was going to be married. You have been the subject of conversations in our home before we even knew your name. Until we find you, we will pray for you daily and your little sister in law's, although looking forward to you in their life as sister/best friends, they are a little jealous of this young lady who their brother prefers over them, even before he meets you.  Dear daughter in law, we love you and are missing you in our lives. We are praying for you. 

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

When One of Our Children Die

   The grief of a parent is unlike anything else in this world. When a child is taken suddenly, violently, it is deeper than any knife wound could make. Today I held an earthquake of emotion in my arms while muttering stupid, inane and completely useless words. Words that cannot erase the waste of a life not lived, the piece of heart and soul of the mother in my arms. I could not say the only words that could comfort her, to assuage her pain, the only words that could give her hope. Because I do not know where this young man, a child that I knew from age 3, the best friend of my own beloved son until age 13, when choices had to be made. Choices like, how far would I allow the influence of a child whose family did not believe in the path that I had been so graciously led to by a loving Savior. How can I comfort a woman whose eyes desperately seek mine for what she knows my son has, what he wanted for his best of all friends, the one he loved, his favorite playmate and confidant? I saw in her eyes, the desire for me to speak words that would bind her wounds, enough to stop the hemorrhaging of pain that her heart was killing her mind and body with, words that would ultimately bring healing but I could not. And then I left her, in the world that she inhabited, with friends not sending cakes and casseroles, but coolers of beer. A world that I had left 14 years ago and took my son from her son.

  Now here I am, looking for photographs, ones that chronicled the life that her child had with mine, the memories that these bring also bring a deep sense of shame and guilt. Did I abandon her? Did we, out of self righteousness walk away from her? Was the reason, I distanced myself from her and her family, who ultimately broke apart in divorce and crumbled under her own addiction to substances, although legal, and doctor approved, torn a rent in her family that took years to repair. Years that we were not part of, ones where our lives were lived in the rarified world of church gathering and homeschool group  fellowship. Where I believed I was safe, my son was safe from the evil influences of the unsaved and unrepentant. Where I discovered to my deep dismay and heartbreak, a professing mouth does not prove a repentant life. Carnality and sin are in every group, and sometimes it is as evil as the rebellious sinner who riotously revels in his despotism.

  With every photo I find, I realize that the God who knows me, who loves my son much more than I could ever fathom, grieved so much for His creation that He did what I longed to do for this mother today, take her pain, but God did so much more. While I am willing to take my friends pain and suffer for her, even though the years separated us at my instigation, I draw the proverbial line at substituting my son for hers. To give my son to Death, for the life of her son and assuaging of her grief. But this is exactly what my God did for me. He assuaged my grief, with the hope that my son, who is saved, who did persevere, even through the tangles and briars of every group we fellowshipped with, be it the Brethren or the wicked, God delivered my son for Himself that I will never grieve like this mother that I held today. And although, I cannot for sure know the last moments of the child who grew to age 21 and then his days, who are numbered from Creation, whose soul is intimately known to God from the beginning of time, who this day did not catch the Creator of all things by surprise, were ended by a gunshot while saving 2 young girls from the pistol of a robber. I do not know what happened between this child and God in those last breaths, I will pray that God had mercy on His soul and brought this boy to remembrance of what he learned sitting by my son, in the pews of the church where God's grace and mercy were preached, where he went to children's camp and the gospel was preached to him at a young age, although separated from us, I will pray, that He was not seperated from God in those last moments. Because I have what the world has not, and that is hope.

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

A Grief I Never Knew

  My nephew is in the army. He enlisted when he was 18, right out of high school. . He got married when he was 18. He had a baby with his wife before he was 19.  Everyone has a facebook and I am glad. It keeps us connected. Thank you creepy Mark Zuckerburg. I can keep up with my nephews wife while she waits on her new baby, takes care of her barely 2 year old and waits also for her husband's deployment to end. Hopefully with him this side of Heaven.

  While browsing my niece in law's facebook, I saw an entry from a young army wife whose profile picture was a young man, so I clicked on her profile, I am not sure why. It was open to the public and I read her entries and realized that this young mother had lost a baby in 2010. It was her second baby and it was a stillborn child. This touched my heart as I also have had a still baby. I guess they call them still born because of the incredible stillness of the child in your arms. As I kept reading I saw that she had an almost 5 month old too. And then I saw that she set her husband's picture as her profile picture in memory of him. She had lost her young husband in Afganistan 6 months before their 3rd child was to be born. My stomach caught in a knot and my eyes immediately teared up. I felt a wave of grief for this young girl who couldn't have been more than 22 or 23. She was one of thousands, maybe millions of young wives who waited on a husband that never came home. Not because he didn't want to, but because he couldn't. I imagined what would happen to the sweet almost 20 yr old wife of my nephew who was pregnant with her second little boy with the young man that I use to change his diapers. What would my sister/cousin do if she received the man in full uniform at her door, telling her of her oldest son's death at the hands of an enemy we have never courted. This young widow was the face of my niece, she had received the knock on the door, the gloved hand to hold her while she called her mother and best friend to come help her live through the pain. She received the arms of the other young women who had received the same knock on the door and had to tell their children that Daddy went to Heaven and would not be home to live with them.

  Can I just tell you that my throat ached with unshed tears when I saw her most recent post to a man that can't read her message? How much I wanted to reach in the computer and hold that young girl who had lost not only her baby but a husband too? I have never felt that kind of grief in my 40 plus years. I have lost a mother, a father, a baby and a brother but never a husband while a child was in my womb and 2 year old on my hip. I have never heard that a lunatic planted bombs to kill my young husband and take my future away. And she, this young woman, she writes with such peace. Yes, I stalked her facebook, trying to know this unknown young woman, trying to fathom how she dealt with this blow to her heart, her future and her children's future. How did she give birth and have the strength to go on in the midst of grieving for the love of her life? I have felt that desperate young love once, it is so pure and satisfying to have that young love and life in your arms. To dream and have children with. How did she bear it? How does she go on day by day? So, I read on, and do you know how she does it?

   She does not seem to have a mature faith in God, but she has a simple one. She believes that her husband is with her daughter that died 1 yr before he did and she imagines their life together. She is in college full time, while living with her parents and she is also reaching out as a Widow Sister to the other young women who are receiving the knock on their door or will one day. Her posts are positive comments on her beautiful children's progress and her own in college. She posts poems to her husband that are not sad but encouraging. How I admire this young woman that I have never met. How I pray for her and her children. She has inspired me to know that if ever faced with the depth of grief that she has faced, to follow this girl, young enough to be my daughter, to follow her example of strength. I have the Lord and know that I can do this through Him and I know that He is helping her even though she may not know to what extent, but from the few posts I read, she is learning about Him. So I pray for her spiritual growth and that her story will include the acknowledgement of God in her life. I see seeds in her, I pray for a harvest. 

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

What If We All Were Atheists?

There is a concerted effort in the atheist community to convert others to their way of thinking. They believe that the world would be better off and become a Utopian like planet if everyone were resigned to the belief there is no God, no Heaven and no Hell and when you die that is it, you cease to exist. So I thought, let's take a realistic look at what the world would really be like if everyone became what the atheist call "Reasonable People".

  In the religion of atheism, they believe that there is no God and therefore no judgment at the end of one's life, so if you take away 75% of the world's belief that they will be judged by a Supreme Being at the end of their life for the way they lived, what would happen. Most likely chaos would reign in every corner of the world. Most vocal atheist are well educated, the ones that belong to the prominent online communities and are part of large Atheist promoting groups, such as "American Atheists". This is a large national community of unbelievers who have erected several billboard campaigns across the United States promoting atheism. While reading their website atheist.org and several blogs that promote atheism I believe I have seen a common thread in their thinking, the complete annihilation of all theistic or polytheistic religions is their goal. But I wonder if they realize what would happen if their goal was realized.

Although they concentrate most of their efforts against Christians, they are against any religion, Buddism, Hinduism, Islam, you name it and they are against it. They want you to believe that there is nothing at death. There is only one life and that is this one on the Earth that you are living. So what if their deepest desire were to become reality? Would we have Peace and Happiness or Chaos and sickness?

 Imagine a world without God. There is no standard because there is no Bible, so each culture would live as they see fit. Now look at the tribesmen in Africa, those who have no idea that God exists, oh wait, you can't because they believe in a Great Spirit that judges them. Ok, so we really can't see an example of any culture that doesn't have a God in their belief system. So the closest we can come is looking at a communist society, one who does not believe in a any spiritual entities. In these societies, they are always dictatorships it seems. And the people are always oppressed. But for now, with a God in the equation, they are kept in check by the world's eyes on them. But what if everyone were like them? We would have a world of a few rulers who would most likely subjugate the people of their country. There would be no governing authority to say that oppression is wrong because it would be universally accepted. This, I believe, would eventually evolve, (ha ha, pun intended) into slavery for most of the world because of  man's desire to dominate man, and with no consequences, such as  standard of morals to go by, man's cruelty to man would be unbearable. Genocide, Infanticide, Euthanasia of the elderly and the infirm, would be fair game and acceptable because there would be no one to say that it is wrong. No one would believe they would ever answer for any of their hideous deeds. The freedom to sin, slaughter and live out the most perverted of schemes the mind could come up with, and there are a multitude, would be the standard. Truly on the fittest would survive. The most cruel.

  It is only by an all powerful, judgmental God, that the hands of a sick and depraved mind of man, are stayed. You may think I am exaggerating but where did the standard of society come from? From the Bible, from the mind of God. Every law was first written in the hand of an ancient Hebrew. There would be no law that is a standard for a civilized society, except that it was first based on the tenets of God.  If you are doubtful, think long and hard about every person in this world, not the guy sitting next to you at the coffee shop or in class, but the ones roaming the streets of Iran and Iraq. What if they believed they could do anything without any eternal judgment. What if every person in the Middle East did not believe in God, I mean they already kill their daughters and wives if they tick them off and it is legal, what would happen if they didn't have to have a "Muslim" reason for it? Or the crazies right here in America? What would life be like. It would not be the intelligent, conversing, peace seeking Utopia that Atheist R US has envisioned. It would be war on every street, crime ridden dictatorships with no protection for the weak. It would be a world of Chaos and death with no place to hide. Praise God that He Is and His hand of mercy stays the wickedness of man. 

Thursday, April 5, 2012

MiThoughts: What’s wrong with this Country? YOU ARE

MiThoughts: What’s wrong with this Country? YOU ARE: Guest Post by Stephen Morrison “Our Constitution was made only for a moral and religious people. It is wholly inadequate to the ...

Monday, April 2, 2012

Monday, March 19, 2012

Curriculum Review

I've been invited to try Time4Learning for one month in exchange for a candid review. My opinion will be entirely my own, so be sure to come back and read about my experience. Time4Learning can be used as a homeschool curriculum, for afterschool enrichment and for summer skill sharpening. Find out how to write your own curriculum review for Time4Learning.

Saturday, February 25, 2012

Chocolate Cupcake -Eggless No Less

I am out of eggs. After going to Publix, the Food Co-Op and Sam's Wholesale in one day, I am still out of eggs. The reason is that I only get my eggs from Brighter Day, a local organic/all natural market that sell organic eggs for $2.40. Cheaper than any other place in Savannah. I haven't been there this week yet but I am soooooo grumpy that I have to have chocolate. I don't think I need to explain that. So after several google searches this is what I found.


This is what it looked like:

Never mind. The cupcake fell into the camera lens. Seriously. Oh well, they are very good.

Just a Name and Understanding Others

Lately, as in the last 6 months, I have been very vocal on my Facebook page, on this blog, and on any news article that I have read, how I feel about this group of Presidential Candidates. And I have also been pretty vocal and some may have thought, combative regarding social programs and the views of each side for the poor and taxation of the rich. I have not understood why some people don't see things my way even after I offer them Biblical proof. So I have been really trying to understand that little issue. My conclusion is that I don't understand them properly. I don't understand their point of view, their personal issues and their lack of or refusal of understanding of Biblical principals. What it comes down to is that no one wants to be wrong once you take a stand. Only very few people can be presented with facts and then say "Hey, I see your side of things and I believe A,B,C but maybe not D but let's talk about it more." There is something in us that cringes from that step. I know this because I have been there. I have been on the hater's side and I didn't like being called a hater because I was sure my side was right so being the type to prove you wrong, I went to the source of right and wrong. And I found out I was wrong. Now what is a Christian suppose to do when they are wrong? Did your heels in and keep arguing the same old tired argument and say loudly over  and over the same thing? Probably not.

   I had a woman who I knew as a passing acquaintance over the years get quite belligerent with me on Facebook when I started exploring the issues of cutting off the funding for food stamps and welfare while bringing the wealthiest incomes in line with middle class deductions (Her husband was one ofthe wealthy I was talking about it seems). Her argument of choice? Repeated statements of "Obama Drama". Presented over and over by me and several others the argument to consider alternative means of reform and equal taxation, she refused to engage in any logical argument. It irritated me to death I have to admit because she sounded so closed minded, not even willing to listen to an alternative view. I finally called her on it, probably not very graciously to my shame, I believe I said "why do you insist on refusing to engage in an intelligent conversation and keep throwing out the one liners like a immature bully does on the playground". Yeah I know, that endeared me to her for life I am sure. She promptly unfriended me. What is bad is that I really haven't missed her because she wasn't part of my life anyway, but I do think about her and sometimes think, was there any way I could have reached her, not to persuade her, but to reduce the animosity of the issue? This is a question I will ask myself I am sure again. I am sure there is a good answer to it, but I don't have the opportunity to try it because really, she was just a name and I never saw her but rarely in Real Life. Like a lot of people, they are just a name on your Friend Board.

There are so many 'Just A Names' on my friend board on Facebook and on this blog There are nameless people who have read it, over 500 at last count, because I subtracted out at least a 1/5 of repeat views and 1/5 of my own. So that left over 500 other views. 500 sets of eyes have looked at these silly ramblings of mine.Those eyes know about my daughter that died and that I longed for a large family and didn't win the beauty queen pageant...just kidding, I haven't wrote about that day! But seriously, it is a privilege to have someone visit this blog and to read my Facebook. I have over 300 friends that see my stupid, mundane, tired, sometimes irritable and other times bragging, posts. Some comment, most don't, like this blog but to know they read it, is astounding to me. So if you are reading this, I want you to know that I understand when you don't agree with me and I never want to be wrong either. I do want someone to let me know if what I say is not biblical with scripture backup. Because I don't want to be wrong because it means my pride is hurt, I don't want to be wrong because I WILL stand in front of God and answer for every silly word that has come out of my mouth. If it were an insult to a democrat or a republican or a blessing on my child, God hears it. And He knows what is in my heart when I say all the words that come out of my mouth. My views have changed because I searched scripture to find out what the Bible said regarding our responsibility at the polls and in the home. I fail at both. But I am concerned that I can stand and truthfully look at the Lord and say I did this (insert action, thought or deed) in Your name Lord. And I am not ashamed. But I also want to say to Him that I always tried to listen and understand others whether they agreed or not with me. And this I pray for myself, my family and for you the Reader of this silly blog. Because I appreciate you and love you.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Tonsils and Adenoids

My youngest daughter had her tonsils out last Wednesday. That was a rough surgery. Both of my other kids has theirs out before but this child, 9 yrs old, seemed to not recover well. I started feeling guilty the minute they took me to the recovery room. They said she was not awake but was combative. Hmm, that made zero sense to me.  How can you not be awake and still be combative? Well, that means that your child is snoring and screaming at the same time, kicking so hard it takes 2 -4 nurses to hold different parts of her body down. Now, she immediately calmed down when I whispered "You are in the hospital, you had your tonsils out and Mommy is here, don't kick, it is okay" 30 times in 12 seconds while gathering the kicking child in my arms. Mothers can penetrate anesthesia. It took her 2 hours to wake up and she was in pain. The nurse, male, who really needed to have a desk job, kept trying to wake her up. I finally told him to leave her alone if she was safely breathing and all her vitals were fine. So we sat there for 2 hours and then she threw up everywhere. Poor baby. Things have really not improved until today. She did not drink more than 1 cup or so of liquid a day for 5 days and looked like she had been attacked by a vampire. Pale, red lips, sunken eyes. Several times I thought of taking her to the ER but her pulse was normal and I told her if she didn't drink the gatorade I was going to take her to get an IV. Without being put to sleep. I know that sounds cruel but it is amazing how quickly she sucked down that gatorade. Oh yeah, I was the recipient of a migraine the day after surgery so we both lay in bed with an ice pack on my head and one on her throat listening to "39 Clues" and being waited on by my 20 and 12 year old. Thank the Lord for those other kids!! But we are on our way to recovery here and I just turned in most of my last weeks homework. So I am semi caught up and hitting the hay!

Saturday, February 11, 2012

Are the Republicans the "Christian" Party?

  As the "Christian Party", we should be the leaders in social programs that are run efficiently and without crippling our budget. We should be the ones who are the first to say, "Take care of the poor, then the road ways". We should be the ones who espouse alternative programs and fund them properly with strict oversight. We could take the nation in both the House, Senate and every state would be a Red State. Because people really are voting against greed. They are voting against a corrupt legislature and politicians who are looking for a silver spoon paycheck. The government was meant to be the protector of the people and their tax money. It was established against a corrupt monarchy who believed the tax revenues were there to keep the rich in luxury. We have allowed that same system to flourish here in America. It is appalling the tax shelters, the benefits and perks given not only to our politicians and their cronies but to corporate America under the guise of "they create jobs". Yeah, right. They create them in third world economies where the workers are paid slave wages.. We all know this to be true, if for no other reason than we have had these tax perks and cuts in force for the last 12 years and during this time the economy has continually spiralled downward with corporations moving their companies overseas where the profits are astounding yet they get to keep all the tax cuts and benefits of being an American company. Where are the jobs if they are the reason America needs to keep all the tax cuts and benefits? The tax benefits have been in place for years, so according to that argument, we should have no unemployment and no deficit. They have had the opportunity for years and yet our economy is floundering.

   As "The Christian Party", the Republicans have taken the Christian hostage with their battle cry "End Abortion", yet they care nothing for the man who can't feed his family that he didn't abort because he was laid off while his company moved overseas. It is a travesty that the CEO of that same company will then say "the American Dream is still there for anyone who wants to work". Bull, the American Dream was when there were penalties for moving an American Corporation overseas yet still retain the American Owned label. There use to be tariffs on foreign products that made buying American more feasible and reasonable. THAT is when there was an American Dream.

   Then you have the man eating a steak out with his family complaining about all those lazy blacks who are on welfare and foodstamps. I hear it every day because I eat out alot. Yet they don't know that those mothers decided against abortion and then could't feed them on her $7.25, minimum wage job at Walmart, so she had to do something to feed the kids. Yes I know there are lazy people, both black, white and hispanic but those kids do get food when that mother gets stamps. And you better remember that the Lord said that the "poor will always be with us" and He also said that who ever wants to get into Heaven better take care of them. Not the corporation. So if you use the name Christian and Republican in the same breath to describe yourself, you better pick up that Bible and find out what is important to Christ on election day, and not what is important to your tax return. Those consequences are a little more long lasting than Bush's Tax Cuts.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

My Secret Disappointment

Look at this blog by the Maxwell's, homeschooling family with 7 children who have all grown up to praise and worship God. This is the family that when I became saved and then 2 years later when I was called to homeschool, I longed to emulate. They were my perfect vision of a "Homeschool Family"


In my rosy dreams, I would start  having a baby every 2 years, and my husband would miraculously get saved, because wasn't it a miracle that I was saved? And then we would both gather our large family of 5 or 6 children with my oldest son in the lead, and march off to church every time the door opened. Somewhere, in my longing, I actually pictured my husband as a Deacon in the church, with me meekly and quietly encouraging him while our children joyfully obeyed him in everything. He would lead us in devotions at night and we would have hymn sing a longs because somewhere I had learned to dream of this life.

So, what really happened was, when I became devoted to the church, he became devoted to everything else but the church. He did not embrace the Lord with a joyful smile and thank me for getting saved first to save our family. No, he kinda liked where he was in the world, like most people do, and that is when I started to learn about the sovereignty of God. I still had people sending me encouraging notes in the mail that preached the verse "you shall win him without a word", "have a submissive heart and he will come to Christ" etc... Yeah right, 'cause I am in control of someone else's salvation. No, I am not, God is. I finally learned that lesson.

And while all this was happening, the babies every 2 years didn't happen either. It took 7 and 3/4 years for my 2nd living child to be born and that was after 4 years of fertility treatments that I had to practically threaten my spouse to have. He was happy with one child. Why wasn't I? But I was crushed in my soul, as any woman who longs for a child understands. It doesn't matter if it is your 1st, 2nd or 5th, that longing is painful and it obsesses your mind and heart. And it took 3 more years and another year of fertility treatments to have my 3rd and last child. And 7 weeks after she was born I knew the marriage was over too. But I refused to give up my dream. Even knowing in my heart that I would never live my dream life, I still longed for the family like the one on the above mentioned blog. I would do anything, and I tried. I read every marriage book, I memorized every verse on marriage and while I was doing this I realized that God was the author of salvation and the director of my life.  When a life becomes worst to live in than to live without, when the damage is too great to risk pursuing a dream that only you hold, well at some point you have to give in, and I did. Finally, but really too late to save the damage.

And here we are, a dysfunctional, functioning, sometimes happy, always believing in God, and searching for His will and purpose, family of a Mom and 3 kids. And I see that the dream that I had, blinded me to the dream that I have. The one in front of me everyday, wanting help with their math and for me to make those chocolate peanut butter oatmeal cookies at 9pm. The one where my ex- husband takes care of us for absolutely no reason except that it is God directing his thoughts, and protecting me. He takes care of us so that I can continue to homeschool and he gets his kids any time he wants. He eats dinner with us and takes the kids in the river and to the mall. Something that several years ago he would have been too busy to do, and the kids love it. Amazing, that my dream, when it died, opened up my eyes to provisions that I could not have imagined. I just had to let go of what I wanted for my life and let the Lord give me what He wanted. I still wish I had that family, but then who would lead this dysfunctional one and keep it together? Because there are a whole lot more of the dysfunctional families than those perfect Godly homeschooling ones and someone has to be the Mother in those families. God calls us to different purposes, I am privileged to know He thought I was strong enough to meet this purpose. 

Chocolate Oatmeal Cookies

I grew up in a small town in North Carolina. Every day we would check the school lunch menu by looking in our small town newspaper. I always loved seeing the words "Snickerdoodle Cookies". But when I moved to Georgia I found out that the Snickerdoodle Cookies of my childhood is not the same one that they called Snickerdoodle Cookies in my home town. The Georgia version was a soft sugar cookie with cinnamon sugar sprinkled on top. The ones that I grew up calling Snickerdoodle Cookie is a chocolate peanut butter oatmeal no bake cookie. In Georgia this is what they call it...Choco Peanut Butter Oatmeal No Bake Cookie. I liked my name for it but as they say.....when in Rome..... so here is my favorite Chocolate Peanut Butter Oatmeal Cookie recipe.

Chocolate Peanut Butter Oatmeal No Bake Cookies (what a terribly long name for such a little cookie)

1     Stick Butter
2     Cups Sugar 
1/3  Cup Cocoa Powder
1/2  Cup of Milk
1 tsp  Vanilla extract
1/2   Cup Peanut Butter (I use creamy but you can use crunchy)
3     Cups Quick Oats

Boil first 4 ingredients for 1 minute
Take off burner and add the last 3 ingredients (do not cook)
Mix well and then drop rounded spoonfuls onto parchment or wax paper
Let set for at least 15-30 minutes

These are my youngest daughter's favorite cookies. We eat the entire batch within 3 hours. Bad Mommy.

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

On Meeting Gay People

My best friend from college's uncle is gay. He was 20 yrs ago when I was in college and he paid for the champagne at my wedding and two hotel rooms on the river. One for my honeymoon suite and the other for all the people who followed us all night to crash in. He has been there through my friends marriages and divorce, her two kids and my 3. He cried when my daughter died and held my friend and her boys together when her ex husband went crazy and left her. We called his partner of 25 years Uncle Frank and were sad when they broke up. I mean really what were we suppose to do all these years. We love her Uncle and just because he is gay, doesn't mean we are going to leave him out of family get togethers. It is not like he makes out with men at the Thanksgiving table.  I told my 20 yr old that he was gay when he was 18 and he was shocked but not surprised. Funny how that it huh? Because just like you know whether a family member is saved or not, you know if they are gay too.  It is just instinctive. My son says that the homosexual was the only group of people never mentioned in the bible as a group approached or spoken to by Jesus. I am going to google that. But I think he is right. Homosexuality is only spoken of as cursed and profane in the bible. But I cannot shun someone who kinder than most Christian men I know. And more humble. My heart breaks at the sin but I so love the sinner. I have several homosexual friends, yes friends. I don't hang out with them, but I would go to dinner with them if asked, or to the coffee shop or an event of some kind. I don't know how to not be kind to them. I would rather go to the movies with a gay person than a man who professes to know Christ and then cheats on his wife all the time, or beats his kids. I am of the same mind as this young man that is spoken of in this girl's blog, confused as to why  some people are gay. Why is it so seemingly impossible for them to change. An alcoholic, a drug addict or a mean person can change, why can't they? Why are some gay men born effeminate and seemingly like you can tell at age 5 they are different. They are children for crying out loud, but some of them are already showing signs. This is something I don't understand and it grieves me. I will trust God and believe that He has the answer for all and that this is something that is not mine to understand (one of those Duet 29:29 things) because I do trust God. And I believe that His was is perfect and above my understanding. And I hope He understands when I don't shun the gay people. I think He will because Christ was kind, to everyone except the "religious leaders" translate 'Hypocrite". 

This article inspired today's post:     http://allshehastosay.blogspot.com/2012/01/people-like-me.html

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Church People

   So today in church there were quite a few different people. There were the ones that have built the church. You know, the ones whose Daddy's and Mama's helped set the foundation of the original building. They are the ones who can tell you why the church split from the "Other" church down the street back in the early 70's. Maybe your church is older. Maybe your great Grandfather was a founding member and there is a plaque on the wall honoring his memory. So your roots go deep in the hardwood floors of the sanctuary. There were also the new families that joined about a year ago, maybe 5 years ago and they are serving in all the different kid's ministries and maybe the husband does usher duty on rotation. You have the 2nd generation of families that one or both parents grew up in that church mixed with the single college kids who just need a church during college semesters. There are those who left and came back and then you have that really awkward family that no one really likes cause the kids are weird and so are the parents, along with the family whose parents everyone likes but their kids are such brats you can't stand being around them. But there is also the single mother, the one who is searching for a family like atmosphere and the truth to be taught to her kids because she is so overwhelmed with single motherhood and working and all that school work. And the other mother who is separated but not divorced so it is really awkward talking to her because, well there is no one for your husband to talk to while you talk to her, and you can't really invite her anywhere because, well she isn't divorced but she isn't a couple and there is that awkwardness of asking how the marriage is, any chance of reconciliation or maybe divorce?

    Well, that is an uncomfortable subject for after church lunches and then again your husband wouldn't have a man to talk with so.....let's just wait to another day to minister to her family.  So, there they are, the two kinds of singles, both so awkward for the family get together after lunch ritual so prevalent in the church. The fellowship that binds the time of worship together into a family and friend relationship. It really is so hard when you just don't want to deal with problems on that pretty afternoon of rest. Don't look in the rear view mirror either as you pull out of the church parking lot on your way to meet friends, because you might see that single parent trying to explain to their kids, something they probably don't understand themselves; why no one invites them to the get togethers or over for lunch at their homes, or to the restaurants that are their favorite places to eat.

   You also might never know that the mother does take her kids out, but to a place where they may not run into your family and the other "real Christian families" so that her kids won't be hurt again by seeing all of you sitting together, with the tables pulled together, laughing and praying together before your meal. She takes them alone somewhere and she talks about the lessons learned at church that day, and bows her head to pray over the meal. Thankful that Jesus came to lunch with her and her broken family.

Friday, January 27, 2012

Do I Deserve A Room of My Own?

My 9 year old daughter still sleeps with me. My son slept with me until he was 9 and one of his sisters were born, her constant screaming ran him and his dad into the other room! That arrangement lasted til he was 14. Meantime, my other daughter was born and it looked like she might sleep in the crib that had gone through 2 children before her and was as yet, an unslept in bed. But that didn't last and then I had 2 of them in the bed with me until my oldest daughter was 10 1/2 and moved into the bed with her older brother, while my youngest slept with me. So, then last week, my 12 yr old decided she wanted to sleep in her room, yes her room that although neither daughter had ever slept in it, there it was across from my room and next to her brother's room, yellow walls, butterflies and all. So we moved the twin bed that had for the last 7 years been on the floor in my room, next to the kingsize bed, in case we all needed to sleep in the same room. You know, when my son was hunting or on the campaign trail and it was just us girls. Or the off night when the oldest daughter didn't feel well and needed to be in my room. There it was, both twin beds in the 'girls' room. Looking like a real room. My youngest daughter said she too wanted to sleep in her room and I thought "Holy Cow, I might sleep alone for the first time in 20 years!!" I might actually not get kicked all night or have my covers stolen by someone 6 inches shorter than me. I felt ambivalent. This would be strange. My girls would be alone in a room. They had never been alone in their life longer than it took to go to the bathroom, and this would be for 8 to 10 hours. I was getting nervous. What if one of them breathed wrong? Had a bad dream? Who would shake them gently to dislodge the dream? But bravely I kissed each one, turned on the nightlight and Adventures in Odyssey and went to my computer to check on my assignments. When I walked back there later, about a half hour or so, my youngest was safely ensconced in my bed, while her big brother was in the other twin bed with my oldest daughter in the room. I asked my youngest "Not ready to sleep in there yet?". She said "Not yet, maybe when I am 14." hahahaha! I asked my son, "Why are you in here with your sister?" His reply was what I expected "We don't have an alarm and I am not ready for either one of them to be alone yet". The case of Polly Klaus never is far from our thoughts, bless her soul.

 So we are relieved to both be within reaching distance, all night, of the most vulnerable in our home. And we are happy with this situation, it suits us. But then, tonight one of my girl friends told me, after I relayed all this information to her, "You deserve to have a bedroom all to yourself that you can go to at 9pm, and relax after the kids are in bed".  And I thought, "Wow, that would be nice, I could fold clothes and watch a movie, do school in the bed and not the office, walk on the treadmill now that there was a place for it in my room with the twin bed out of here.  Hmmmmm, I thought, yes I do deserve to have that." And I contemplated on that thought all the way home, which takes about 5 minutes. This is my conclusion:
   My children will leave me, and I will sleep alone all the rest of my life. I will watch many movies in my very own bed, and look over at the empty spot beside me or the treadmill where the other twin bed use to be and remember the sweetness of watching my little children rest in slumber, their slow breaths and gentle giggling that they sometimes do in their sleep, and I will cry for these sweet days. My bed will never be off limits to my children, because one day they will be too big to sleep with me. They will have little ones of their own in their own beds, and I will miss them. Terribly.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

My Unpopular View on Abortion

To me this issue has enslaved the Christian to the greedy power hungry GOP. It has enslaved their mind and their passion. They have lost their mission over something that Christians won't do and pagans have done since before Christ's time. We cannot legislate morality. In any way. I do not approve of abortion but I do not approve of preventing it by jail terms or fines. I believe that the Christian will prevail when they put all that money into a viable alternative for abortion. Of course I am talking about pre 12 weeks murders, not the abomination of partial birth abortion. I am not passionate about eliminating all abortions because I do not believe that we can. Ever. But this issue has been the path that the evil of the GOP has risen to power and fueled the hatred of the moderate democrat. What I am passionate about is the funding of clinics of our own that do ultra sounds and has a family waiting to take that baby home, to provide for the mother when the adoptive parent is too poor to pay for the expenses. For the church to live its convictions instead of taking the easy route and going on a bus tour to DC to stand outside and "make a point" . We need to be making a difference. And with the funds that are shoved into the anti abortion fight, we could be stealing all those pregnant women from Planned Parenthoods doors.

Getting a Bigger Mansion for voting Republican?

Republicans hope that Christians don't figure out that Jesus was the first Socialist. But they aren't worried because they know that most Christians don't read their Bible. But you need to remember that you don't a get bigger mansion in Heaven by voting Republican who scream NO ABORTION!! God will notice that you also voted for taking money from the poor who you judged not to be working hard enough or that they had too many kids eating off "Your Dime". 

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Team Studer: 25 Rules for Mothers of Sons

Team Studer: 25 Rules for Mothers of Sons: Inspired by a Pin I've recently seen about "rules for dads with daughters," I went searching for a similar list for moms with sons. This se...

What I Posted on Unions

This is what I say to people who put down unions. I am grumpy today, so I may not have said this too nicely.
Unions for you uniformed, are the reason we have any living wages to begin with. Unless you were a business owner before the start of unions you would never advance, just get replaced if you tried to get a raise or better your condition. Because of the unions we have the 5 day work week with overtime on the 6th and 7th. Because of unions we have skilled labor who are trained in their constructive crafts and not unskilled workers who don't know what they are doing. Because of unions our buildings are lasting and not collapsing. Because of unions you have benefits like retirement and insurance coverage. Because of the men who demanding fair wages for a day's work you are able to support a family. DO NOT EVER PUT DOWN THE UNION MAN> he went to school to learn what he does. He is not some uneducated buffoon trying to figure out how to put in a steam line that if it exploded could cause another disaster like the sugar refinery. The only thing wrong with Unions are the Union bosses and that is where legislations could fix things. But the unions keep you from living on minimum wage. The business sector had to keep wages fair and benefits available because if they didn't the employees would form a union. So even the non union workers need to thank unions because they gave big business incentive to pay their employees what they are worth. Because this fight was so far in the past, (a generation to the short minded Gimmee Now generation) they don't understand the importance of what the unions accomplished and what benefits they are living with because of unions. Ungratefulness is the first step to losing everything.