Sunday, January 29, 2012

Church People

   So today in church there were quite a few different people. There were the ones that have built the church. You know, the ones whose Daddy's and Mama's helped set the foundation of the original building. They are the ones who can tell you why the church split from the "Other" church down the street back in the early 70's. Maybe your church is older. Maybe your great Grandfather was a founding member and there is a plaque on the wall honoring his memory. So your roots go deep in the hardwood floors of the sanctuary. There were also the new families that joined about a year ago, maybe 5 years ago and they are serving in all the different kid's ministries and maybe the husband does usher duty on rotation. You have the 2nd generation of families that one or both parents grew up in that church mixed with the single college kids who just need a church during college semesters. There are those who left and came back and then you have that really awkward family that no one really likes cause the kids are weird and so are the parents, along with the family whose parents everyone likes but their kids are such brats you can't stand being around them. But there is also the single mother, the one who is searching for a family like atmosphere and the truth to be taught to her kids because she is so overwhelmed with single motherhood and working and all that school work. And the other mother who is separated but not divorced so it is really awkward talking to her because, well there is no one for your husband to talk to while you talk to her, and you can't really invite her anywhere because, well she isn't divorced but she isn't a couple and there is that awkwardness of asking how the marriage is, any chance of reconciliation or maybe divorce?

    Well, that is an uncomfortable subject for after church lunches and then again your husband wouldn't have a man to talk with so.....let's just wait to another day to minister to her family.  So, there they are, the two kinds of singles, both so awkward for the family get together after lunch ritual so prevalent in the church. The fellowship that binds the time of worship together into a family and friend relationship. It really is so hard when you just don't want to deal with problems on that pretty afternoon of rest. Don't look in the rear view mirror either as you pull out of the church parking lot on your way to meet friends, because you might see that single parent trying to explain to their kids, something they probably don't understand themselves; why no one invites them to the get togethers or over for lunch at their homes, or to the restaurants that are their favorite places to eat.

   You also might never know that the mother does take her kids out, but to a place where they may not run into your family and the other "real Christian families" so that her kids won't be hurt again by seeing all of you sitting together, with the tables pulled together, laughing and praying together before your meal. She takes them alone somewhere and she talks about the lessons learned at church that day, and bows her head to pray over the meal. Thankful that Jesus came to lunch with her and her broken family.

Friday, January 27, 2012

Do I Deserve A Room of My Own?

My 9 year old daughter still sleeps with me. My son slept with me until he was 9 and one of his sisters were born, her constant screaming ran him and his dad into the other room! That arrangement lasted til he was 14. Meantime, my other daughter was born and it looked like she might sleep in the crib that had gone through 2 children before her and was as yet, an unslept in bed. But that didn't last and then I had 2 of them in the bed with me until my oldest daughter was 10 1/2 and moved into the bed with her older brother, while my youngest slept with me. So, then last week, my 12 yr old decided she wanted to sleep in her room, yes her room that although neither daughter had ever slept in it, there it was across from my room and next to her brother's room, yellow walls, butterflies and all. So we moved the twin bed that had for the last 7 years been on the floor in my room, next to the kingsize bed, in case we all needed to sleep in the same room. You know, when my son was hunting or on the campaign trail and it was just us girls. Or the off night when the oldest daughter didn't feel well and needed to be in my room. There it was, both twin beds in the 'girls' room. Looking like a real room. My youngest daughter said she too wanted to sleep in her room and I thought "Holy Cow, I might sleep alone for the first time in 20 years!!" I might actually not get kicked all night or have my covers stolen by someone 6 inches shorter than me. I felt ambivalent. This would be strange. My girls would be alone in a room. They had never been alone in their life longer than it took to go to the bathroom, and this would be for 8 to 10 hours. I was getting nervous. What if one of them breathed wrong? Had a bad dream? Who would shake them gently to dislodge the dream? But bravely I kissed each one, turned on the nightlight and Adventures in Odyssey and went to my computer to check on my assignments. When I walked back there later, about a half hour or so, my youngest was safely ensconced in my bed, while her big brother was in the other twin bed with my oldest daughter in the room. I asked my youngest "Not ready to sleep in there yet?". She said "Not yet, maybe when I am 14." hahahaha! I asked my son, "Why are you in here with your sister?" His reply was what I expected "We don't have an alarm and I am not ready for either one of them to be alone yet". The case of Polly Klaus never is far from our thoughts, bless her soul.

 So we are relieved to both be within reaching distance, all night, of the most vulnerable in our home. And we are happy with this situation, it suits us. But then, tonight one of my girl friends told me, after I relayed all this information to her, "You deserve to have a bedroom all to yourself that you can go to at 9pm, and relax after the kids are in bed".  And I thought, "Wow, that would be nice, I could fold clothes and watch a movie, do school in the bed and not the office, walk on the treadmill now that there was a place for it in my room with the twin bed out of here.  Hmmmmm, I thought, yes I do deserve to have that." And I contemplated on that thought all the way home, which takes about 5 minutes. This is my conclusion:
   My children will leave me, and I will sleep alone all the rest of my life. I will watch many movies in my very own bed, and look over at the empty spot beside me or the treadmill where the other twin bed use to be and remember the sweetness of watching my little children rest in slumber, their slow breaths and gentle giggling that they sometimes do in their sleep, and I will cry for these sweet days. My bed will never be off limits to my children, because one day they will be too big to sleep with me. They will have little ones of their own in their own beds, and I will miss them. Terribly.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

My Unpopular View on Abortion

To me this issue has enslaved the Christian to the greedy power hungry GOP. It has enslaved their mind and their passion. They have lost their mission over something that Christians won't do and pagans have done since before Christ's time. We cannot legislate morality. In any way. I do not approve of abortion but I do not approve of preventing it by jail terms or fines. I believe that the Christian will prevail when they put all that money into a viable alternative for abortion. Of course I am talking about pre 12 weeks murders, not the abomination of partial birth abortion. I am not passionate about eliminating all abortions because I do not believe that we can. Ever. But this issue has been the path that the evil of the GOP has risen to power and fueled the hatred of the moderate democrat. What I am passionate about is the funding of clinics of our own that do ultra sounds and has a family waiting to take that baby home, to provide for the mother when the adoptive parent is too poor to pay for the expenses. For the church to live its convictions instead of taking the easy route and going on a bus tour to DC to stand outside and "make a point" . We need to be making a difference. And with the funds that are shoved into the anti abortion fight, we could be stealing all those pregnant women from Planned Parenthoods doors.

Getting a Bigger Mansion for voting Republican?

Republicans hope that Christians don't figure out that Jesus was the first Socialist. But they aren't worried because they know that most Christians don't read their Bible. But you need to remember that you don't a get bigger mansion in Heaven by voting Republican who scream NO ABORTION!! God will notice that you also voted for taking money from the poor who you judged not to be working hard enough or that they had too many kids eating off "Your Dime". 

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Team Studer: 25 Rules for Mothers of Sons

Team Studer: 25 Rules for Mothers of Sons: Inspired by a Pin I've recently seen about "rules for dads with daughters," I went searching for a similar list for moms with sons. This se...

What I Posted on Unions

This is what I say to people who put down unions. I am grumpy today, so I may not have said this too nicely.
Unions for you uniformed, are the reason we have any living wages to begin with. Unless you were a business owner before the start of unions you would never advance, just get replaced if you tried to get a raise or better your condition. Because of the unions we have the 5 day work week with overtime on the 6th and 7th. Because of unions we have skilled labor who are trained in their constructive crafts and not unskilled workers who don't know what they are doing. Because of unions our buildings are lasting and not collapsing. Because of unions you have benefits like retirement and insurance coverage. Because of the men who demanding fair wages for a day's work you are able to support a family. DO NOT EVER PUT DOWN THE UNION MAN> he went to school to learn what he does. He is not some uneducated buffoon trying to figure out how to put in a steam line that if it exploded could cause another disaster like the sugar refinery. The only thing wrong with Unions are the Union bosses and that is where legislations could fix things. But the unions keep you from living on minimum wage. The business sector had to keep wages fair and benefits available because if they didn't the employees would form a union. So even the non union workers need to thank unions because they gave big business incentive to pay their employees what they are worth. Because this fight was so far in the past, (a generation to the short minded Gimmee Now generation) they don't understand the importance of what the unions accomplished and what benefits they are living with because of unions. Ungratefulness is the first step to losing everything.