Friday, April 15, 2011

Death of a Friend

Steve was my husband's friend. I met him during the first year of our marriage 23 years ago. He had the same birth date as my husband exactly 10 years older than him. Back then, we all drank very heavily and did a lot of boating and outdoor playing. Over the years we all stuck together as people died from accidents and families lost parents (me) and babies were born. Steve loved our kids and treated them like his own as did his wife. She was devoted to Steve and their only son was the light of their life. 10 years ago his kidneys failed and he was put on the transplant list. I remember thinking , we should have been more careful and said something when he was downing Advils like candy to counteract every pain from his working on cranes to hangovers. He would eat 8 at a time. But being young and not really experienced in spotting things like that we didn't. But we felt the guilt as a collective group of friends when this happened and we stayed close to him during that time before the blessed day of a kidney was found. We had almost lost him many times the 2 years he waited for that call.

Steve used to come by the house sometimes and if my husband wasn't home he would say "let's go get a margarita while we wait for the old man". And he would take me and my young son out to get one. He was always honorable and a gentleman. A good friend to my husband. When my husband and I separated (which was at least every year), he always treated me the same. Never taking sides, always saying that nobody is perfect.

I became saved during the time that he was waiting for a kidney. He would call me all the time to tell me to pray for him, since God was my friend now. He would ask for specific things and sometimes just a general prayer when he didn't want to elaborate. For years he would call me and and ask me to pray for him. And not to tell anyone. I didn't tell and I did pray. I also told him how to have the privilege of going before the Lord without shame. I told him the Gospel.

After his transplant I didn't see much of him, he started partying again and went back to work. He got his life back. It was wonderful. And occasionally he would call me and ask me to pray. Out of the blue. But it was like we had just seen each other an hour before. I think that is true friendship. You can not talk for ages, but when you see each other, it is like you just walked out the door a minute ago.

I heard about a year ago his kidney failed. His body rejected it and he had to go back on dialysis again daily. How horrible. It was so sad but everyone was optimistic because he had rebounded so well before and they had high hopes of another match. But he got weaker alot faster this time and last night his heart failed him. It had worked too hard.

I don't know if he ever accepted Christ. I haven't seen or had an  opportunity to talk with him in a long time. I do know that he did not call me at all this year to pray for him. That gives me hope that he was able to pray for himself.

My husband is devastated, missing his friend that he saw and talked to often. He had been planning on going by today and taking him to the races. He went alone, with red eyes from crying.  And I wonder  if he will wonder where Steve is spending eternity and then think about where he w. 

1 comment:

LaughingLioness said...

I'm sorry that you are experiencing yet another loss. I'm agreeing with you that your friend is resting in the arms of True Love.