Tonsils and Adenoids

My youngest daughter had her tonsils out last Wednesday. That was a rough surgery. Both of my other kids has theirs out before but this child, 9 yrs old, seemed to not recover well. I started feeling guilty the minute they took me to the recovery room. They said she was not awake but was combative. Hmm, that made zero sense to me.  How can you not be awake and still be combative? Well, that means that your child is snoring and screaming at the same time, kicking so hard it takes 2 -4 nurses to hold different parts of her body down. Now, she immediately calmed down when I whispered "You are in the hospital, you had your tonsils out and Mommy is here, don't kick, it is okay" 30 times in 12 seconds while gathering the kicking child in my arms. Mothers can penetrate anesthesia. It took her 2 hours to wake up and she was in pain. The nurse, male, who really needed to have a desk job, kept trying to wake her up. I finally told him to leave her alone if she was safely breathing and all her vitals were fine. So we sat there for 2 hours and then she threw up everywhere. Poor baby. Things have really not improved until today. She did not drink more than 1 cup or so of liquid a day for 5 days and looked like she had been attacked by a vampire. Pale, red lips, sunken eyes. Several times I thought of taking her to the ER but her pulse was normal and I told her if she didn't drink the gatorade I was going to take her to get an IV. Without being put to sleep. I know that sounds cruel but it is amazing how quickly she sucked down that gatorade. Oh yeah, I was the recipient of a migraine the day after surgery so we both lay in bed with an ice pack on my head and one on her throat listening to "39 Clues" and being waited on by my 20 and 12 year old. Thank the Lord for those other kids!! But we are on our way to recovery here and I just turned in most of my last weeks homework. So I am semi caught up and hitting the hay!

Are the Republicans the "Christian" Party?

  As the "Christian Party", we should be the leaders in social programs that are run efficiently and without crippling our budget. We should be the ones who are the first to say, "Take care of the poor, then the road ways". We should be the ones who espouse alternative programs and fund them properly with strict oversight. We could take the nation in both the House, Senate and every state would be a Red State. Because people really are voting against greed. They are voting against a corrupt legislature and politicians who are looking for a silver spoon paycheck. The government was meant to be the protector of the people and their tax money. It was established against a corrupt monarchy who believed the tax revenues were there to keep the rich in luxury. We have allowed that same system to flourish here in America. It is appalling the tax shelters, the benefits and perks given not only to our politicians and their cronies but to corporate America under the guise of "they create jobs". Yeah, right. They create them in third world economies where the workers are paid slave wages.. We all know this to be true, if for no other reason than we have had these tax perks and cuts in force for the last 12 years and during this time the economy has continually spiralled downward with corporations moving their companies overseas where the profits are astounding yet they get to keep all the tax cuts and benefits of being an American company. Where are the jobs if they are the reason America needs to keep all the tax cuts and benefits? The tax benefits have been in place for years, so according to that argument, we should have no unemployment and no deficit. They have had the opportunity for years and yet our economy is floundering.

   As "The Christian Party", the Republicans have taken the Christian hostage with their battle cry "End Abortion", yet they care nothing for the man who can't feed his family that he didn't abort because he was laid off while his company moved overseas. It is a travesty that the CEO of that same company will then say "the American Dream is still there for anyone who wants to work". Bull, the American Dream was when there were penalties for moving an American Corporation overseas yet still retain the American Owned label. There use to be tariffs on foreign products that made buying American more feasible and reasonable. THAT is when there was an American Dream.

   Then you have the man eating a steak out with his family complaining about all those lazy blacks who are on welfare and foodstamps. I hear it every day because I eat out alot. Yet they don't know that those mothers decided against abortion and then could't feed them on her $7.25, minimum wage job at Walmart, so she had to do something to feed the kids. Yes I know there are lazy people, both black, white and hispanic but those kids do get food when that mother gets stamps. And you better remember that the Lord said that the "poor will always be with us" and He also said that who ever wants to get into Heaven better take care of them. Not the corporation. So if you use the name Christian and Republican in the same breath to describe yourself, you better pick up that Bible and find out what is important to Christ on election day, and not what is important to your tax return. Those consequences are a little more long lasting than Bush's Tax Cuts.

My Secret Disappointment

Look at this blog by the Maxwell's, homeschooling family with 7 children who have all grown up to praise and worship God. This is the family that when I became saved and then 2 years later when I was called to homeschool, I longed to emulate. They were my perfect vision of a "Homeschool Family"

.http://www.titus2.com/blog/

In my rosy dreams, I would start  having a baby every 2 years, and my husband would miraculously get saved, because wasn't it a miracle that I was saved? And then we would both gather our large family of 5 or 6 children with my oldest son in the lead, and march off to church every time the door opened. Somewhere, in my longing, I actually pictured my husband as a Deacon in the church, with me meekly and quietly encouraging him while our children joyfully obeyed him in everything. He would lead us in devotions at night and we would have hymn sing a longs because somewhere I had learned to dream of this life.

So, what really happened was, when I became devoted to the church, he became devoted to everything else but the church. He did not embrace the Lord with a joyful smile and thank me for getting saved first to save our family. No, he kinda liked where he was in the world, like most people do, and that is when I started to learn about the sovereignty of God. I still had people sending me encouraging notes in the mail that preached the verse "you shall win him without a word", "have a submissive heart and he will come to Christ" etc... Yeah right, 'cause I am in control of someone else's salvation. No, I am not, God is. I finally learned that lesson.

And while all this was happening, the babies every 2 years didn't happen either. It took 7 and 3/4 years for my 2nd living child to be born and that was after 4 years of fertility treatments that I had to practically threaten my spouse to have. He was happy with one child. Why wasn't I? But I was crushed in my soul, as any woman who longs for a child understands. It doesn't matter if it is your 1st, 2nd or 5th, that longing is painful and it obsesses your mind and heart. And it took 3 more years and another year of fertility treatments to have my 3rd and last child. And 7 weeks after she was born I knew the marriage was over too. But I refused to give up my dream. Even knowing in my heart that I would never live my dream life, I still longed for the family like the one on the above mentioned blog. I would do anything, and I tried. I read every marriage book, I memorized every verse on marriage and while I was doing this I realized that God was the author of salvation and the director of my life.  When a life becomes worst to live in than to live without, when the damage is too great to risk pursuing a dream that only you hold, well at some point you have to give in, and I did. Finally, but really too late to save the damage.

And here we are, a dysfunctional, functioning, sometimes happy, always believing in God, and searching for His will and purpose, family of a Mom and 3 kids. And I see that the dream that I had, blinded me to the dream that I have. The one in front of me everyday, wanting help with their math and for me to make those chocolate peanut butter oatmeal cookies at 9pm. The one where my ex- husband takes care of us for absolutely no reason except that it is God directing his thoughts, and protecting me. He takes care of us so that I can continue to homeschool and he gets his kids any time he wants. He eats dinner with us and takes the kids in the river and to the mall. Something that several years ago he would have been too busy to do, and the kids love it. Amazing, that my dream, when it died, opened up my eyes to provisions that I could not have imagined. I just had to let go of what I wanted for my life and let the Lord give me what He wanted. I still wish I had that family, but then who would lead this dysfunctional one and keep it together? Because there are a whole lot more of the dysfunctional families than those perfect Godly homeschooling ones and someone has to be the Mother in those families. God calls us to different purposes, I am privileged to know He thought I was strong enough to meet this purpose. 

Chocolate Oatmeal Cookies

I grew up in a small town in North Carolina. Every day we would check the school lunch menu by looking in our small town newspaper. I always loved seeing the words "Snickerdoodle Cookies". But when I moved to Georgia I found out that the Snickerdoodle Cookies of my childhood is not the same one that they called Snickerdoodle Cookies in my home town. The Georgia version was a soft sugar cookie with cinnamon sugar sprinkled on top. The ones that I grew up calling Snickerdoodle Cookie is a chocolate peanut butter oatmeal no bake cookie. In Georgia this is what they call it...Choco Peanut Butter Oatmeal No Bake Cookie. I liked my name for it but as they say.....when in Rome..... so here is my favorite Chocolate Peanut Butter Oatmeal Cookie recipe.

Chocolate Peanut Butter Oatmeal No Bake Cookies (what a terribly long name for such a little cookie)

1     Stick Butter

2     Cups Sugar 

1/3  Cup Cocoa Powder
1/2  Cup of Milk

1 tsp  Vanilla extract

1/2   Cup Peanut Butter (I use creamy but you can use crunchy)

3     Cups Quick Oats

Boil first 4 ingredients for 1 minute

Take off burner and add the last 3 ingredients (do not cook)

Mix well and then drop rounded spoonfuls onto parchment or wax paper

Let set for at least 15-30 minutes

These are my youngest daughter's favorite cookies. We eat the entire batch within 3 hours. Bad Mommy.

On Meeting Gay People

My best friend from college's uncle is gay. He was 20 yrs ago when I was in college and he paid for the champagne at my wedding and two hotel rooms on the river. One for my honeymoon suite and the other for all the people who followed us all night to crash in. He has been there through my friends marriages and divorce, her two kids and my 3. He cried when my daughter died and held my friend and her boys together when her ex husband went crazy and left her. We called his partner of 25 years Uncle Frank and were sad when they broke up. I mean really what were we suppose to do all these years. We love her Uncle and just because he is gay, doesn't mean we are going to leave him out of family get togethers. It is not like he makes out with men at the Thanksgiving table.  I told my 20 yr old that he was gay when he was 18 and he was shocked but not surprised. Funny how that it huh? Because just like you know whether a family member is saved or not, you know if they are gay too.  It is just instinctive. My son says that the homosexual was the only group of people never mentioned in the bible as a group approached or spoken to by Jesus. I am going to google that. But I think he is right. Homosexuality is only spoken of as cursed and profane in the bible. But I cannot shun someone who kinder than most Christian men I know. And more humble. My heart breaks at the sin but I so love the sinner. I have several homosexual friends, yes friends. I don't hang out with them, but I would go to dinner with them if asked, or to the coffee shop or an event of some kind. I don't know how to not be kind to them. I would rather go to the movies with a gay person than a man who professes to know Christ and then cheats on his wife all the time, or beats his kids. I am of the same mind as this young man that is spoken of in this girl's blog, confused as to why  some people are gay. Why is it so seemingly impossible for them to change. An alcoholic, a drug addict or a mean person can change, why can't they? Why are some gay men born effeminate and seemingly like you can tell at age 5 they are different. They are children for crying out loud, but some of them are already showing signs. This is something I don't understand and it grieves me. I will trust God and believe that He has the answer for all and that this is something that is not mine to understand (one of those Duet 29:29 things) because I do trust God. And I believe that His was is perfect and above my understanding. And I hope He understands when I don't shun the gay people. I think He will because Christ was kind, to everyone except the "religious leaders" translate 'Hypocrite". 

This article inspired today's post:     http://allshehastosay.blogspot.com/2012/01/people-like-me.html

Church People

   So today in church there were quite a few different people. There were the ones that have built the church. You know, the ones whose Daddy's and Mama's helped set the foundation of the original building. They are the ones who can tell you why the church split from the "Other" church down the street back in the early 70's. Maybe your church is older. Maybe your great Grandfather was a founding member and there is a plaque on the wall honoring his memory. So your roots go deep in the hardwood floors of the sanctuary. There were also the new families that joined about a year ago, maybe 5 years ago and they are serving in all the different kid's ministries and maybe the husband does usher duty on rotation. You have the 2nd generation of families that one or both parents grew up in that church mixed with the single college kids who just need a church during college semesters. There are those who left and came back and then you have that really awkward family that no one really likes cause the kids are weird and so are the parents, along with the family whose parents everyone likes but their kids are such brats you can't stand being around them. But there is also the single mother, the one who is searching for a family like atmosphere and the truth to be taught to her kids because she is so overwhelmed with single motherhood and working and all that school work. And the other mother who is separated but not divorced so it is really awkward talking to her because, well there is no one for your husband to talk to while you talk to her, and you can't really invite her anywhere because, well she isn't divorced but she isn't a couple and there is that awkwardness of asking how the marriage is, any chance of reconciliation or maybe divorce?

    Well, that is an uncomfortable subject for after church lunches and then again your husband wouldn't have a man to talk with so.....let's just wait to another day to minister to her family.  So, there they are, the two kinds of singles, both so awkward for the family get together after lunch ritual so prevalent in the church. The fellowship that binds the time of worship together into a family and friend relationship. It really is so hard when you just don't want to deal with problems on that pretty afternoon of rest. Don't look in the rear view mirror either as you pull out of the church parking lot on your way to meet friends, because you might see that single parent trying to explain to their kids, something they probably don't understand themselves; why no one invites them to the get togethers or over for lunch at their homes, or to the restaurants that are their favorite places to eat.

   You also might never know that the mother does take her kids out, but to a place where they may not run into your family and the other "real Christian families" so that her kids won't be hurt again by seeing all of you sitting together, with the tables pulled together, laughing and praying together before your meal. She takes them alone somewhere and she talks about the lessons learned at church that day, and bows her head to pray over the meal. Thankful that Jesus came to lunch with her and her broken family.

Do I Deserve A Room of My Own?

My 9 year old daughter still sleeps with me. My son slept with me until he was 9 and one of his sisters were born, her constant screaming ran him and his dad into the other room! That arrangement lasted til he was 14. Meantime, my other daughter was born and it looked like she might sleep in the crib that had gone through 2 children before her and was as yet, an unslept in bed. But that didn't last and then I had 2 of them in the bed with me until my oldest daughter was 10 1/2 and moved into the bed with her older brother, while my youngest slept with me. So, then last week, my 12 yr old decided she wanted to sleep in her room, yes her room that although neither daughter had ever slept in it, there it was across from my room and next to her brother's room, yellow walls, butterflies and all. So we moved the twin bed that had for the last 7 years been on the floor in my room, next to the kingsize bed, in case we all needed to sleep in the same room. You know, when my son was hunting or on the campaign trail and it was just us girls. Or the off night when the oldest daughter didn't feel well and needed to be in my room. There it was, both twin beds in the 'girls' room. Looking like a real room. My youngest daughter said she too wanted to sleep in her room and I thought "Holy Cow, I might sleep alone for the first time in 20 years!!" I might actually not get kicked all night or have my covers stolen by someone 6 inches shorter than me. I felt ambivalent. This would be strange. My girls would be alone in a room. They had never been alone in their life longer than it took to go to the bathroom, and this would be for 8 to 10 hours. I was getting nervous. What if one of them breathed wrong? Had a bad dream? Who would shake them gently to dislodge the dream? But bravely I kissed each one, turned on the nightlight and Adventures in Odyssey and went to my computer to check on my assignments. When I walked back there later, about a half hour or so, my youngest was safely ensconced in my bed, while her big brother was in the other twin bed with my oldest daughter in the room. I asked my youngest "Not ready to sleep in there yet?". She said "Not yet, maybe when I am 14." hahahaha! I asked my son, "Why are you in here with your sister?" His reply was what I expected "We don't have an alarm and I am not ready for either one of them to be alone yet". The case of Polly Klaus never is far from our thoughts, bless her soul.

 So we are relieved to both be within reaching distance, all night, of the most vulnerable in our home. And we are happy with this situation, it suits us. But then, tonight one of my girl friends told me, after I relayed all this information to her, "You deserve to have a bedroom all to yourself that you can go to at 9pm, and relax after the kids are in bed".  And I thought, "Wow, that would be nice, I could fold clothes and watch a movie, do school in the bed and not the office, walk on the treadmill now that there was a place for it in my room with the twin bed out of here.  Hmmmmm, I thought, yes I do deserve to have that." And I contemplated on that thought all the way home, which takes about 5 minutes. This is my conclusion:
   My children will leave me, and I will sleep alone all the rest of my life. I will watch many movies in my very own bed, and look over at the empty spot beside me or the treadmill where the other twin bed use to be and remember the sweetness of watching my little children rest in slumber, their slow breaths and gentle giggling that they sometimes do in their sleep, and I will cry for these sweet days. My bed will never be off limits to my children, because one day they will be too big to sleep with me. They will have little ones of their own in their own beds, and I will miss them. Terribly.